Sunday, December 23, 2007

The war on Christmas escalates!

Deck the halls with hand grenades and missilestoe!:
Bremerton, WA (AHN) - A Washington man is going all out to show his disdain for Christmas commercialism.

In lieu of the traditional snowman or the nativity scene, Art Conrad has put up a Santa Claus nailed to a 4.5-meter crucifix in front of his house.

Neighbors and onlookers were naturally curious but Conrad has a ready explanation.

"Santa has been perverted from who he started out to be...Now he's the person being used by corporations to get us to buy more stuff," Conrad explains.

But that is not all. He sends friends Christmas cards that will make people behind Hallmark cringe.

He has a photo of the crucified Santa with the message: "Santa died for your MasterCard."

Even if some people around the Bremerton neighborhood are offended, Conrad says it is just his way of injecting fun into Christmas commercialism, an issue that people refuse to talk about, much less criticize.

And if this is not enough tragedy:
Wellington - A gang of drunken Santas ran riot through a Christchurch cinema complex at the weekend, pushing families waiting to see the film Enchanted, ripping posters off the walls and shouting "Ho, f....... ho," a newspaper reported on Monday. "They were kicking things over, ripping down posters and smashing everything in sight," said Kate Gorman, 35, who was in the cinema with her two children, aged 6 and 7.

She told The Press that the children had asked her, "Are they Santa's helpers gone crazy?" And she had told them, "No, they are just idiots."

The cinema had to be evacuated for about 30 minutes after the drunken crowd left through an emergency door setting off a fire alarm.
Somebody call Bill O'Reilly! We are under attack! Our borders are awash with nude drunken Santas! Film at eleven!


JJ said...

The War on Christmas surge is working! One more Friedman Unit and we should be able to Get The Job Done!


ellroon said...

Muahahahaha! /gloat gloat...

uh... next...