Monday, September 17, 2007

The bellybutton is a USB port?

These damned computers can do everything!

Bray, Ireland (AHN) - Doctors in the U.K. Announce that they completed the first series of One Port Umbilicus Surgeries (OPUS surgeries), a revolutionary laparoscopic surgical procedure that eliminates post-surgical scars. Researchers conducted the novel surgeries by using a new technology made possible by the r-Port.

Dr. Prashanth Rao, Dr. Pradeep Rao of Mamata Hospital, Mumbai, India, and Dr. Abhay Rane of the East Surrey Hospital, Redhill, reveal the r-Port was developed by surgical port from Advanced Surgical Concepts Ltd. (ASC) of Bray, Ireland.

Currently laparoscopic surgeries require require between three and five incisions in the abdomen-creating two to four permanent scars. A pencil-thin instrument called a laparoscope is used, and it gives the surgeon an exceptionally clear view, on a TV monitor, of the inside of the abdominal cavity.

Researchers staunchly admit the r-Port enables surgeons to perform true, single port laparoscopic procedures. Dr. Prashanth Rao says, "The r-Port represents the next major advance in laparoscopic surgery."

Rao goes on to say, "During an OPUS procedure, the surgeon places a single r-Port into the umbilicus of the patient and passes all necessary instruments and cameras simultaneously through that one port," he explained, "and at the end of the procedure, the surgeon simply removes the port and the natural shape and texture of the bellybutton hides any evidence of the surgical incision."

USB port, r-Port, whatever. Soon we'll just plug ourselves in and let our computers do a virus scan, delete some files and we'll be good to go.

2 comments:

Peter Patau said...

At least we'll be able to plug into the NYT's columnists again: Without ever using the word blog, the NYT admits bloggers were right.

ellroon said...

Very satisfying, Madison guy!

Journalists cannot stand to acknowledge bloggers because they feel the common man has climbed on to the pedestal where he doesn't belong.

I will be happy to read Krugman at NYT now.