Friday, March 30, 2007

Now THIS is what we want to see more of!!

Update: Is this an April Fool's joke? Then I have delightedly fallen for it!

25 year old Disney movies being removed from circulation because it threatens national security! I feel so safe now!

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Via Rook at Rook's Rant, Kuro5hin:

BURBANK, CA - Reports are emerging from members of the movie industry that the Department of Homeland Security has designated the 1982 film TRON as "sensitive", and ordered Walt Disney Studios to turn over all copies of the film in its posession. Retailers are also receiving notices to remove all copies of the film from stock shelves and turn them over to Federal officials. The reports have industry insiders bewildered and outraged.

[snip]

According to a Disney employee, the imbroglio is believed to have started when the studio began preparations to digitally remaster TRON for theatrical and HD-DVD release. Disney's plans were communicated to the FBI as a matter of long-standing routine (Walt Disney himself established a close working relationship with the FBI in the 1950's). The bureau expressed concern that the improved image quality from the restored film might reveal sensitive details about US nuclear research. Disney film experts reportedly countered that anything visible in the restored version was already visible, albeit slightly blurrier, in existing DVD copies. Approximately three days later, the DHS declared the film "sensitive" and demanded its surrender.

Although the studio has been working quietly to locate all its copies, it is not yet certain if they will comply with the demand. Apparently there is sharp division within the company about how to respond. "TRON is a landmark in film history. You can't simply make it go away," said a Disney employee who's been closely following the controversy. He also observed, "It was made during the Cold War. Nuclear secrets were sensitive then, too. Did they assume the Soviets wouldn't bother watching a Jeff Bridges film?" But another Disney employee closer to the decision-making process suggested the studio may not want to jeopardize its relationship with the FBI over the film. "Although it has a very dedicated fan base, TRON has never made a lot of money for us. Each release has only generated modest revenue, and the game was essentially a flop," referring to the PC game TRON 2.0 released in 2003. He added, "From a fiscal standpoint, it won't be a significant loss to the company if we decide to let them have it."

Now I have this mental picture in my mind of al-Qaeda types peering at their old VHS Tron copy and trying to figure out why it was impounded. Glow in the dark uniforms? Skinny cars? Getting zapped into your computer? Maybe the machinery behind the actors that says 'Toxic liquid ready for shipping 3/31/07'?

But thanks, Department of Homeland Security, for telling the terrorists exactly where to look and what to look for! Excellent job!

4 comments:

Reel Fanatic said...

I always knew that all the secrets to taking over the world were contained in the movie "Tron," but I never thought the secret would get out .. Oh well .. Guess I'll have to find some other scheme

ellroon said...

Damn! Did you already have the cool glowy uniforms?

Just think, al Qaeda would be unstoppable if they had those sleek car motorcycle things...

Steve Bates said...

Next: DHS confiscation of all episodes of Pinky and the Brain...

ellroon said...

*Gasp*!! You know...the Brain does act a lot like Cheney, and Pinky's idiocy is remarkably like our preznit's....