This is an ex-parrot, Mr. Haggard!

O: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

C: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.


Via Pharyngula

Pelosi's daughter Alexandra made a movie about evangelists

That had this interesting and creepy paragraph:

Unfortunately, such complex characters are rare in Friends of God, and Pelosi doesn’t stop to demystify them. Most of the time, she is content to confirm secular liberals’ fears about evangelicals, particularly that they are unchangeable, unrelenting, and utterly uninterested in other points of view. Not to mention deeply weird. You can’t help but cringe at scenes of children being taught that dinosaurs not only coexisted with humans but actually worked for them as beasts of burden, or of prepubescent girls asking God to “invade” them after watching a Christian wrestling match. And it’s unclear what to make of Haggard, who boasts that evangelicals have better sex and creepily asks two congregants, “How many times a week do you have sex with your wife? How many times does she climax?”

Now-not-gay Ted Haggard

Apparently acted.... oddly with many young men of the church:

"We have verified the reality of (Haggard's) struggle through numerous individuals who reported to us firsthand knowledge of everything from sordid conversation to overt suggestions to improper activities to improper relationships," the Rev. Larry Stockstill told the congregation.

Even as some members tried to modify statements:

Another overseer, the Rev. Tim Ralph of New Covenant Fellowship in Larkspur, said he was "misquoted" recently as saying Haggard was "completely heterosexual." He said he meant to say that therapy "gave Ted the tools to help to embrace his heterosexual side."

Mustang Bobby puts it into perspective:

One of the problems with growing up -- gay or straight -- is that it's not easy to learn all the social graces and niceities that we are faced with: learning to act like an adult and think beyond yourself is tough enough. Repression of your natural instincts, whether it's through a harsh religious upbringing or a strangling family culture, makes it very tough for any kid to find out who he or she is on their own. What happens then when you're gay is that when you're finally able to accept yourself and grow up, the time has passed; you may have a family and a career that would make it truly impossible to start the maturing process all over again. The damage to Mr. Haggard, his family, and his friends goes way beyond what he did when he was deep in the closet, and the chances that he'll grow into a healthy, self-respecting gay man -- which is what he should be -- are shot to hell before he ever really got the chance to grow up.

And here's a tip: knock off the "weirdo" labeling. If Ted Haggard had been allowed by his church, his family, and his society to grow up as a normal gay man, allowed to explore his feelings and come to understand them as any other person does instead of having to repress them, he might not have turned to the kind of destructive behavior that got him busted in the first place. It's the people who force others to repress themselves that are the "weirdos."

Update: reminder of Haggard and his arrogance, his hatred of evolution and science.

And a reminder for those women who find out their husbands are gay:
Ignorant Hussy writes:

"The first thing you should do is get tested for every STD known to humanity including HIV. If you ever have sex with your husband again, make him wear a condom. (Actually, that's good advice for someone who has discovered their straight spouse has cheated on them.) I know your church has probably told you that it's a sin to use condoms or they aren't effective in stopping the spread of STD, but medical professionals say otherwise. Who are you going to believe about condoms? A book written by bunch of bronze age nomads before condoms were invented?(paraphrasing Richard Dawkins) Or the Centers for Disease Control, the World Health Organization and the Whitman Walker Clinic?

The second thing you should know, being gay in and of itself is not evil. Your husband's dishonesty with himself and you is evil. Homophobia is evil. Homosexuality is not a disease to be cured. Going to spiritual "restoration" will not cure gayness. Geez, that sounds so Soviet, like going to a re-education camp. My S2BX was filled with self-loathing for years, his homosexuality was the invisible elephant in the home. I knew that he was keeping something from me, that there was some element of intimacy that was missing from our marriage, but he wouldn't talk about. Now that he's out, it's like a giant weight has been lifted from his shoulders. Maybe that was the sensation that I got when he told me. The weight left his shoulders and slammed me in the face."

Ted Haggard and his miracle cure

Mustang Bobby explains it all:

So, how did they prove that he's "completely heterosexual" now? Wait; on second thought, I don't want to know.

Take it from someone who's been "acting-out" (interesting choice of words) for most of his adult life; just because you only did it with one guy doesn't mean anything. It's the thought that counts, and as most folks who are raised Catholic will tell you, when you think about it, you might as well be doing it; the thought of the sin is just as good (or bad) as the sin itself. I'm willing to bet that the same applies to the evangelicals as well. And I'll also bet you five bucks that if you ran a copy of Blueboy or Drummer past Rev. Ted today, he'd fire up the old Evinrude.

I'm also sure that once he's pronounced "cured" he's going to go around the country hawking some snake-oil DVD on how to stop being gay. Yes, for only $89.95, you too can stop being gay! Throw away those Speedo catalogues and your Pier One credit card and discover the joys of Spike TV! Here, have a Snickers.

And then again in comments in response to a comment:

[snip]
But apparently most of the right wing of the Republican Party (which seems to be redundant) cares a great deal about who's gay and who isn't. They run for office by trying to frighten the bejesus out of Americans by telling them that the Radical Homosexuals are bent (no pun intended) on recruiting teens and destroying the country by doing such terrible things as getting married and raising children. Horrors!

I don't know about your friend in person, but if my experience is any guide, she was probably gay from birth. She just didn't admit it to herself and do anything about it she was 26. I know a lot of men who didn't come out of the closet until their 40's or 50's. The difference between them and me was that I knew I was gay from the git-go and was honest about it.

You don't get to choose to be gay any more than you choose to be black (Michael Jackson notwithstanding). Sure, the Religious Reich claims that it's a choice, but they have to; if it can be proved that being gay is innate, then all their vile prejudice and propaganda becomes no different than racism. And they know that every time there's a story about gay marriage or a gay celebrity coming out, they can send out a fund-raising letter to the foolish and the weak and meet their quota for the quarter. Isn't it funny how everyone they ask whether they think being gay is something you're born with is straight. Ask us sometime. I don't know a gay person who claims that they actually chose it, and I don't know anyone who would actually chose to "switch back."

Being gay isn't just about sex any more than being straight is. The problem is that the anti-gay crowd -- of which Rev. Ted was a strong and vocal leader until he got busted -- is that they are the ones who are obsessed with gay sex; far more than anyone I know on this side of the street.
Mustang Bobby | Homepage | 02.06.07 - 5:28 pm | #

Dobson has no time to cure Haggard's gayness.

Should we care? Mustang Bobby points out some interesting .... characteristics.

Update: Crooks and Liars has more proof that Dobson is batshit crazy.