Saturday, October 25, 2008

That will teach you that God is Love!

Jesus' General:
Gov. Palin's witch-fighting network had it's first big success in Alaska, five years later, when they took on a witch who worked in the Alaska State Prison System. Here's how Gov. Palin's witch-fighting mentor, Mary Glazier, describes their victory:
As we continued to pray against the spirit of witchcraft, her incense
altar caught on fire, her car engine blew up, she went blind in her left
eye, and she was diagnosed with cancer.
So remember! God loves you!

12 comments:

Mahakal / מהכאל said...

How did they know she was a witch?

Distributorcap said...

so this is what we have to look forward to .....

low-tech cyclist said...

Bush and Cheney inflicted democracy on their enemies. Palin's friends inflict God on people in the same way.

Not exactly the best PR for either God or democracy.

ellroon said...

I'm still astonished at so-called Christians behaving in such an unchristian-like manner. I doubt Jesus would even recognize them.

Mahakal: maybe by the warts on the end of her nose and the pointed hat? Or the fact she did not join their pre-breakfast prayer hate group?

Dcap: Which is why we must vote! Early and often!

Low tech: I don't think Palin and her church have anything to do with any of Jesus' teachings. As you say, God is just a big stick by which they may go around smiting those they don't like.

Eli said...

Three cheers for a vengeful, sadistic God! Wheeee!!!

ellroon said...

*BZZZZZOT*!!

darkblack said...

'How did they know she was a witch?'

If she weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood.

Therefore...

;>)

ellroon said...

This is getting too complicated...

Just throw her in the drink. If she drowns she's innocent. If she floats, burn her at the stake.

Mahakal / מהכאל said...

Better tie some rocks to her wrists and ankles to make sure, then. We wouldn't want her to float and be condemned to eternal hell for being a witch, after all.

Are you now or have you ever been a witch?

And who are you who are so wise in the ways of science, darkblack?

ellroon said...

I'm still struggling with the idea a wooden witch would weigh as much as a duck...

Mahakal / מהכאל said...

BEDEVERE:
Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch...

ellroon said...

BEDEVERE:
What makes you think she is a witch?
VILLAGER #3:
Well, she turned me into a newt.
BEDEVERE:
A newt?
VILLAGER #3:
I got better.