English majors are the new terrorists

They will explode your world with a well-placed comma, strafe your comfort zone with devastating puns, and nail you with an expletive.

Phyllis Schlafly, please attempt to have carnal knowledge with your most intimate parts in a manner known to be physically challenging. Chet Scoville of The Vanity Press explains.

Forsooth!

Update: I bet Schlafly would think Rumsfeld would balance out the evil liberalness of universities. Note the last comment. How much do you bet he's one of these dirty effing tolerant liberal hippie types?

STANFORD, California (CNN) -- Students and professors at Stanford University are protesting Donald Rumsfeld's appointment to a campus think tank, saying the former defense secretary does not uphold the "ethical values" of the school.

Shortly after Rumsfeld's appointment was announced in September, professor Pamela Lee began an online petition from faculty members opposed to bringing him to the Hoover Institution.

Since then, the petition has gained more than 3,500 signatures, including nearly 300 faculty members from such diverse disciplines as law, computer science, electrical engineering and drama.

"We view the appointment as fundamentally incompatible with the ethical values of truthfulness, tolerance, disinterested inquiry, respect for national and international laws, and care for the opinions, property and lives of others to which Stanford is inalienably committed," the petition reads.

[snip]

"Many of us believe that Donald Rumsfeld, in his role as secretary of defense, has behaved in ways that are dishonorable, disgraceful and always disingenuous," said Dr. Philip Zimbardo, professor emeritus of psychology.

"Rumsfeld authorized a list of interrogation methods that violated the Geneva Convention and the Convention against Torture used on detainees at Guantanamo Bay ... and Iraq's Abu Ghraib Prison," said Zimbardo, whose most recent book, "The Lucifer Effect," finds that given the right "situational" influences, anyone can be made to participate in violent and depraved acts.

Lee said her position does not discourage debate or public exchange of ideas.

"Let me stress that the petition objects to Rumsfeld's appointment as Distinguished Visiting Fellow, an appointment we find without merit," Lee said. "In fact, there is nothing in the language of the petition that says Mr. Rumsfeld is forbidden to air his views at Stanford or is not welcome for a public lecture or open forum."

But not everyone disagrees with the appointment.

"Personally I disagree with his politics," said Brett Hammon, a political science major. "But at the same time, I'm not sure I think it would be prudent for the university to refuse hiring him just because most students disagree with his politics. I know I would hate it if I went to school in Texas and the university refused to hire a prominent liberal politician just because most of the student body was conservative."