Thursday, September 20, 2012


Talk like a pirate day... or maybe not.

Damned females getting all the jobs!  Or something.


Roman tile floor found in Turkey.

Russia has a huge site of diamonds... enough to flood the world with sparklies.  And drop the bottom out of the diamond business....

Put a burka on it!

Soon, EVERYONE will have a giant marble to run their electronics, their house, their car.....

The Bible is more violent than the Koran.

Update:  Found over via Bryan of Why Now?'s place:

Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day

(We came up with these in an effort to interest The Other Dave (Letterman) in TLAPD. His staff liked 'em, but alas, his show was"dark" the week of Sept. 19.)

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if I fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down?

And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …

1. Prepare to be boarded.

Bonus pickup lines (when the ones above don't work, as they often won't)

They don’t call me Long John because my head is so big.

You’re drinking a Salty Dog? How’d you like to try the real thing?

Wanna shiver me timbers?

I’ve sailed the seven seas, and you’re the sleekest schooner I’ve ever sighted.

Brwaack! Polly want a cracker? … Oh, wait. That’s for Talk Like a PARROT Day.

That’s the finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eyes on.

Let's get together and haul some keel.

That’s some treasure chest you’ve got there.

Top Ten Pickup Lines for the Lady Pirates

By popular demand ...

10. What are YOU doing here?

9. Is that a belayin' pin in yer britches, or are ye ... (this one is never completed)

8. Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!

7. So, tell me, why do they call ye, "Cap'n Feathersword?"

6. That's quite a cutlass ye got thar, what ye need is a good scabbard!

5. Aye, I guarantee ye, I've had a twenty percent decrease in me "lice ratio!"

4. I've crushed seventeen men's skulls between me thighs!

3. C'mon, lad, shiver me timbers!


...and the number one Female Pirate Pick-up Line:

1. You. Pants Off. Now!


Steve Bates said...

Avast, right-wing conspiracy!

I'll have to wait until The Hobbit comes out on dvd. I still cannot negotiate the interior of a movie theater with any degree of safety. :-(

ellroon said...

Yeah, it's the way we watch 99% of our movies now. We make better popcorn anyway...

Bryan said...

Some time ago DeBeers had long conversations with the Russian diamond people about 'how rare diamonds are' and they suddenly became rare in the market.

Russia has always had a huge supply of diamonds, and has used smaller jewelry level diamonds for industrial purposes. Russia is the single, best source for colored diamonds, primarily pinks and blues, and they are in evidence in the crown jewels of the Tsars and the jewels of the Orthodox Church.

Don't expect prices to drop a great deal because 'diamonds are rare', which is why they are so expensive.

ellroon said...

Exactly, Bryan. I've been aware of this for a while... that DeBeers keeps a stranglehold on the amount of diamonds available so that the prices never drop.

Nice cabal they have going there. Diamonds are NOT a girl's best friend...but gold bars maybe? Nah... property? uhhh... oh well.

Back to planning my winter garden...

Steve Bates said...

I bought and viewed the Rings trilogy on dvd, and always felt it might have been better in a theater. "Dark" films usually are.

Still, I will complete the set with The Hobbit, and yes, I am grateful to have some way of seeing it at all.

On good days, my popcorn beats theater popcorn, though that's a recent development. I remember theater popcorn when I was a kid...

ellroon said...

*sigh* That popcorn was real... not genetically modified, and the butter was from real cows... the delicious bon bons were filled with ice cream without chemicals... those were the days.