And then... once you've registered... once you have your voter certificate... pack it up along with your driver's license and your passport and your official birth certificate and your firearm concealed-carry permit (but not your military ID; they won't take that) and maybe your father or mother, if they'll fit in your briefcase, cart all of these items down to that early voting place next to the bayou, walk in, walk up to the poll workers' desk, walk PAST the poll workers' desk, confront the %@&^* e-voting machine f2f, YANK IT OUT OF ITS NICHE IN THE BOOTH AND PITCH IT IN THE @#$%^ BAYOU! After which you may use your IDs to obtain a paper ballot which cannot be bit-scrambled after you mark it...
If I don't have a local bayou, can I throw it out on the road and get people to drive over it?
Do anything that leaves it inert, ellroon...(@#$%^ CAPTCHA again...)(AND AGAIN! GRRRR...)
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