Have a very merry ... minuet.

There are days in my life when everything is dreary

I grow pessimistic, sad and world weary.

But when I'm tearful and fearfully upset

I always sing this merry little minuet:

They're rioting in Africa

They're starving in Spain

There's hurricanes in Florida

And Texas needs rain.

The whole world is festering

With unhappy souls

The French hate the Germans,

The Germans hate the Poles

Italians hate Yugoslavs

South Africans hate the Dutch

And I don't like anybody very much

But we can be grateful

And thankful and proud

That man's been endowed

With a mushroom shaped cloud

And we know for certain

That some happy day

Someone will set the spark off

And we will all be blown away

They're rioting in Africa

There's strife in Iran

What nature doesn't do to us

Will be done by our fellow man.

Or Tom Lehrer might do:

When you attend a funeral

It is sad to think that sooner 'r l-

ater those you love will do the same for you.

And you may have thought it tragic,

Not to mention other adjec-

Tives, to think of all the weeping they will do - but don't you worry -

No more ashes, no more sackcloth,

And an armband made of black cloth

Will someday never more adorn a sleeve.

For if the bomb that drops on you

Gets your friends and neighbours too,

There'll be nobody left behind to grieve......

And who is going up in smoke?

The US housing market.

Italy.

And Britain.

And Russia.