Now we will win the Eternal War on Terror!

With our (/loud organ chord!!) LIGHTNING LASER GUN!!! (Wait a minute, needs more work. Screwdriver, please)

Today's Wired News profiles Raydiance, a company specializing in ultrashort pulse (USP) lasers -- light flashes that last less than a ten-trillionth of a second. The pulses go so quick, they can be used to carve conductive channels of ionized oxygen in the air. And down those channels, you can shoot man-made lightning bolts to a given spot, zapping whatever (or whoever) happens to be there.

In 2005 and 2006, Raydiance's fellow USPers at Ionatron built for the Defense Department about a dozen golf cart-esque vehicles, equipped with lightning guns, and seemingly ready for rapid deployment to Iraq -- only to have the things sent back.

Last year, Raydiance got a $4 million contract from the Navy to build a "brass board" blaster. Meanwhile, Ionatraon got another $10 million in military money to keep working on their version of the lightning gun.

So.... we've been attacking the enemy with souped up ... golf carts? Fear me! I have laser ... golf balls!!