On the subject of squirrels

Capability
(for ellroon)

What critter litters on your lawn?
(A squirrel can. A squirrel can.)
What totes its nuts at dusk and dawn?
(A squirrel can. A squirrel can.)
What lands on roofs, and creeps 'neath eaves,
And pilfers, filches, nabs and thieves
Until a patient person grieves?
(A squirrel can. A squirrel can.)

What scurries over power lines?
(A squirrel can. A squirrel can.)
What skips the bill when out she dines?
(A squirrel can. A squirrel can.)
What munches seeds you left for birds,
Has manners far too rude for words,
And once he's done, leaves lots of t^>ds?
(A squirrel can. A squirrel can.)

What object, when you've had enough
(A squirrel can. A squirrel can.)
Will end this nonsense, stuff this stuff?
(A squirrel can. A squirrel can.)
What sort of trap, 'neath Moon or Sun
Will hold a squirrel, stop its run
While you depart to get your gun?
(A SQUIRREL CAN! A SQUIRREL CAN!)

- SB the YSS

New recipes for the Second Great Depression

And the way to take care of rampaging terrorists in my garden:

RARE roast beef splashed with meaty jus, pork enrobed in luscious crackling fat, perhaps a juicy, plump chicken ... these are feasts that come to mind when one thinks of quintessential British food. Lately, however, a new meat is gracing the British table: squirrel.

[snip]

The situation is more than simply a matter of having too many squirrels. In fact, there is a war raging in Squirreltown: invading interlopers (gray squirrels introduced from North America over the past century or more) are crowding out a British icon, the indigenous red squirrel immortalized by Beatrix Potter and cherished by generations since. The grays take over the reds’ habitat, eat voraciously and harbor a virus named squirrel parapox (harmless to humans) that does not harm grays but can devastate reds. (Reports indicate, though, that the reds are developing resistance.)

“When the grays show up, it puts the reds out of business,” said Rufus Carter, managing director of the Patchwork Traditional Food Company, a company based in Wales that plans to offer squirrel and hazelnut pâté on its British Web site, patchwork-pate.co.uk.